Fury Road - The Russian view

Yesterday peer pressure forced me to go see “Mad Max: Fury Road” instead of entertaining myself with yet another movie about the Great Patriotic War. After the movie it was evident that my decadent western friends had quite a different interpretation of what we saw. So I decided to write down how a true Russian patriot sees this movie. Fair warning, spoilers ahead.

The movie starts with Mad Max being captured by the good folks in local militia. He is taken to a utopian society ruled by a great leader called Immortan Joe. Joe is a pious man who likes cars and is guided by good ol’ family values. He wants nothing more than to have many healthy children with his many wives. Now, I know what you’re thinking: Isn’t polygamy against Russian tradition? Well, in general it is. But the important exception is, that if you’re a warlord, you can have as many wives as you like, even if they’re underaged.

Immortan Joe provides food and water for his people. Yes, the distribution system of water is inefficient, but I’m sure they’re working on it. While the movie doesn’t tell if Joe was the one who built the water pumps or if he rightfully took them from some greedy oligarch, it should be clear to anyone that those pumps won’t work without him. Joe also provides religious guidance to his loving followers as any good leader should. I cannot say I fully support the choice of religion here, as Joe is not a follower of the one true faith, but he’s not a godless atheist either, and I can respect that. Besides, there are many similarities. In Russia, we also have priests blessing our cars and rifles.

Either way Immortan Joe seems to be a good leader for his people combining Brezhnev's aura of wisdom and the staying power of Putin.

The reason for Mad Max’s captivity soon becomes apparent as he rejects his role in providing for the common good through donating his blood to the militia and tries to escape. Thankfully this self centered liberal scum is soon captured.

Immortan Joe has made trade agreements with nearby nations that provide his utopia with the two things every sovereign nation needs: guns and fuel. Unfortunately Joe is betrayed by his warleader Furiosa. She commits a double treason by stealing Joe’s supply truck and his wives. At this point one has to wonder what Joe was thinking when he gave such a high rank to a woman and cripple. Joe and his army start a chase. The army is eager for a fight, but are unable to capture the traitors. Perhaps Joe didn’t have the wisdom of Putin to increase his military budget and have military exercises in every direction possible. And of course the whole military plan for the chase was ill-advised. First of all, you should never lead all of your troops outside your territory as US and NWO are constantly plotting to overthrow you. And second, you never allow your generals to command the army from the front, that’s not the Russian way to do it. Generals should stay back where it is easier to see the big picture and send your troops to make the ultimate sacrifice for their motherland. Not only did Joe disobey this simple rule, he also brought the whole politburo with him. And that was the plan of the traitors the whole time, so that when some of the politburo is killed and the rest is trapped in the canyon, they can take over.

Mad Max: Fury Road is a sad tale about an end of utopia. But it provides us with a very important lesson: You should always crackdown on the opposition, no matter how harmless they might seem at the time.